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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 06 Jan 2017, 14:45 
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Grumbling about Matey
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Alison H wrote:
I'm so sorry for your loss, fio.

Be however you need to be. There's a certain amount of pressure on people to "stay strong" after a bereavement, and I wish there wasn't: everyone has to grieve in their own way.


((fio))

I agree with what others have said, especially Alison. I have always been 'the strong one' in my family, holding everything together when everyone else was falling apart. But I've learnt the hard way the need to acknowledge and work through my own grief. Otherwise, you suffer for it in the long run and often, so do those you are trying your best to be strong for.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 15:33 
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Oh, Fio, I'm so sorry for your loss. Grieving isn't being a spineless jellyfish. It's perfectly normal, and it sounds as though your poor son is doing just that and not coping very well. Give him time and he may come round to that counselling. Why not try it for yourself and see if it encourages him to try?

(((Fio and son)))

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 16:14 
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Alison H wrote:
Be however you need to be. There's a certain amount of pressure on people to "stay strong" after a bereavement, and I wish there wasn't: everyone has to grieve in their own way.


I agree with this. I am going through some long-term health problems and the best advice I had came from a friend being treated for breast cancer. She said it is OK to feel low sometimes, we all have bad days.

It was such a relief to realise that you don't have to be upbeat and cheerfully optimistic the whole time. Some days just have to be got through and tomorrow will be better.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 18:23 
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So sorry for your loss, fio, and agree with the others that you should allow yourself to grieve as you need to. Bereavement counselling may or may not help your son but the decision has to be his. I am sure he knows that you are there for him and that is what matters.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 21:29 
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So sorry for your loss Fio. As others above have said you need to grieve yourself and it can hit at the most unexpected moments. Sending positive thoughts to you and your son.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 22:58 
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and positive thoughts from everyone. My dad passed away peacefully in our local hospice at 12.20am this morning. He was moved to the hospice two days ago and obviously, in spite of his confusion, felt the peace which surrounds the place, as he said to me "I'm safe now!" On Friday morning, we were called to the hospice as they felt the end was near and my brother, sister and I were able to spend his final hours sitting round his bed reminiscing about our childhood and talking about dad. The end, when it came, was very peaceful and I am sure he is now reunited with my mum and they are dancing off into eternity together.

Thank you so much for caring

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 23:10 
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Thanks so much for the update and such a lovely picture of your dad, Linda. I know these things can be hard to write.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 23:23 
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I'm sorry for your loss, Linda, but glad to hear that the end was peaceful. Take care x.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 07 Jan 2017, 23:42 
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Declaring it to have been the best term
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I'm very sorry for your loss, Linda, but glad that your father's last hours were so peaceful. You and your siblings will be pleased to have shared this time with him, and I'm sure that in the days to come, you will be glad to have those memories. Take care, all of you.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 08 Jan 2017, 00:50 
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What wonderful places hospices can be - I am so glad that your father felt safe there, exactly what is intended, and that you were all able to be with him as his journey took him to your mother.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 08 Jan 2017, 17:08 
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I know we've spoken, Linda, but I just thought I'd come and offer my own two-pennyworth here, as well. As always, he and you and your family are in my prayers and in those of my MA and her community. I do love the image of your parents dancing their way into eternity. :wink:

God bless and keep you all.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 09 Jan 2017, 13:29 
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(((((((((((((((Linda + Family)))))))))))))))


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 30 Jan 2017, 22:49 
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Update about my 93-year-old neighbour J who has severe dementia and is almost blind: she has now been in hospital for two months, and seems to have come round to thinking that she would like to live in care, having previously been vehemently against it.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughts, and could I ask you for one last effort (I hope) - Social Services were determined to send her home to be alone much of the time again, as they said that was what she had said that she wanted (and they are apparently obliged by law to do as she wishes). I am praying that she doesn't utter anything that makes them think she's changed her mind again, and that they find her somewhere suitable where she can be looked after as she needs and deserves, so would very much appreciate any help you can give. Thank you!


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 03:32 
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Declaring it to have been the best term
Declaring it to have been the best term

Joined: 29 Dec 2004, 17:16
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Sending positive thoughts that Social services can now find your neighbour a suitable place in care before too much longer, Noreen, although, knowing the pressures for such places, both in the UK and over here, I fear the wait might be longer than we might hope. Please let us know what happens.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 11:30 
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Will do, Elder, and thanks for your thoughts.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 13:25 
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Sending positive thoughts, Noreen.

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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 21:00 
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Will definitely keep her in my prayers, Noreen, and hope they find her a home as good as Mum's was.

Could I ask for prayers for my sister? She had a mastectomy 15 years ago, and then unluckily developed a lump on the scar a year later. Another lump has now appeared on the lymph nodes in her armpit and is being removed on Saturday.

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"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not more of a pastime to her than she is to me?" (Montaigne)


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 21:27 
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Declaring it to have been the best term
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Oh heavens, MaryR, I do hope 2017 isn't going to become another annus horribilis for you and your family - I would have thought one year of that was enough for anyone! Sending prayers and positive thoughts for your sister.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 22:25 
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Also sending prayers and positive thoughts for your sister, Mary, and my thanks to you and to Abbey.


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 Post subject: Re: Positive Thoughts 9
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 22:51 
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Best wishes for everyone concerned.

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Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

http://setinthepast.wordpress.com/




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