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Two apologies - one is that this is being posted very slightly early, as I may not get a chance tomorrow, the second is that we are now going slightly back in time, as the instruction I had was Guernsey/Early Plas Howell, hope it isn't too confusing, perhaps decide the letter was found slightly late !
Dear Santa Claus / Mr Father Christmas in case you aren't used to Americans.
I've put your name on this, as Peggy and Rix Bettany are determined that I need to write to you, and they were watching me make a start, but if you don't mind, I'm going to ask you and or God to pass this on to Mademoiselle Therese Elise Lepattre.
I am writing this in French as they are very suspicious that I am not really writing to you, so please can you apologise to her if I make any errors. I'm afraid I've neglected my French grammar a bit since she fell ill, and I think the staff have understood why, and not been pressuring me to be as accurate as normal. It's surprising how quickly one can forget which ending goes where, and fall into the slangier French we all use when speaking. I think she'd understand, but I wouldn't want you to think she hadn't taught me well, as she did.
A friend of theirs (apparently named 'Bad Bill' - so I guess he'd be on your naughty list!) has told them you don't exist and they are a little sad about that, so I wanted them to still have one more Christmas at least slightly believing in you if they could. I thought I could just pretend but these two are smart little souls, and so I had better be writing something real. I have already had to add a bit extra to the title, as they didn't believe me that I called you Santa when I used to write to you. I had to explain about American people not always calling you the same thing as English people.
If I could ask for one thing from you or our lord it would be to be able to speak to Mademoiselle again so if it isn't too sacrilegious then I guess that is the present I would want if I still wrote letters to Santa. So perhaps in a way you have already given me that gift, as I do feel a lot better for the idea of this letter to you and Mademoiselle.
So here is my letter to pass on :
Mademoiselle, it's hard to think that you won't be there to tell these things to either at Christmas or after. Poppa is trying to make his way here but it's been hard to get away, travel is becoming less safe. Though he doesn't say so in letters, I know he is helping fund some sort of underground resistance, and from something Bruno and Frieda said I think he doesn't want too many obvious connections leading to me just in case his cover is blown.
You would say to me 'He will be thinking of you Cherie, even if he is not here' as you did so many times when I was a brat of a youngster. I didn't really understand then that sometimes things can be more important to the world than wanting to be with your kid, but now I have more of an idea of the good he does, I am almost proud he isn't here. It doesn't mean I don't miss him, especially this first Christmas without you, but it doesn't hurt the way it did sometimes when he was away.
It has been a busy term, we've had a Nazi in with us - Gertrud - she's actually a good kid. I was going to ask for her to have news of her mother, but we found out she has had news she thinks hopefully she is safe, so that is something to be thankful for.
Peggy is looking at my letter and asking why it doesn't have a list, so please excuse the short sentences, at least it will perhaps make the grammar less of an issue!
My list :
Some better fitting glasses. They have taken the measurements, and I have temporary ones but say the proper ones will take about 2 months, at least these aren't slipping down as much as they did.
A smile from Maria Marini. She is better - calmer - in some ways now that she knows Onkel Florian is gone, but she seems so thin and sad still, I would love to see her just slightly smile. I think it might be too much to ask so soon after everything, but at least she is out of danger.
A new pen would be nice, this one is quite scratchy now.
Please excuse the Gache cake fingerprints over that last bit, Jackie Bettany wanted to help, so he has done a scribble for you that I am told is a picture of you in a chimney.
I'll add some things I am thankful for too. Peggy says that is alright if I don't want much for Christmas, and I think I'd find that easier right now. I somehow don't want presents, I feel I've been given so much with my safety, and that of Poppa and my eyes.
I'm so thankful for my eyes. I hurt them, as you will already know I'm sure. I burnt them when we had a plane land here. I thought for a moment I would be blind and that scared me more than anything ever has before.
I'm thankful for Joey and Jack. They have offered me a home over Christmas, though it's their first as parents and back together as Jack was ill.
That's another thankful thing, Jack Maynard being better, and able to be here for this first Christmas with the Trips.
I nearly forgot - I'm thankful for Rufus being home. It somehow feels so much safer with him here, and I'm so proud of Poppa for helping get him here. Joey is over the moon, and I can see he already adores the Trips and is happy to guard them and her. He won't go far from Joey though yet. She says she gets overheated as he keeps leaning on her to check she is really there, but I can tell she loves it really.
I'm thankful that you were spared the worry of me being hurt Mademoiselle. It sort of helped, as now the war has really been brought home to me, I can also be pleased that you aren't having to cope with the uncertainty and I'm especially glad you don't have to deal with your illness any more.
Thank you, whoever ends up reading this, it has helped to write it. I'll seal this now and add it to the ones the kids are sending. Peggy has done a drawing for you on the envelope for me, and Sybil has made a stamp with the sticky paper, so it is probably the longest and most decorated letter you've had from me!
I wasn't the most creative child, if I remember rightly I was more concerned with making sure you knew where we were staying each Christmas. It's funny now to look back, but I realise that is something the school has given me. Even if the location wasn't always where I slept at Christmas, I do remember a feeling of home, Mademoiselle and Madame made me feel so secure and welcome. I'm trying to pass that on, by being around for young Biddy O'Ryan when I can. She reminds me of when I was small in some ways, although I do have Poppa of course. But I can see that Bill - Miss Wilson - is taking the sort of place that you did for me Mademoiselle, and Joey taking the place Aunty Madge had for me out of school. I want if I can to make sure Biddy knows she has someone else though. Even if it is just to teach her how to do cartwheels better !
Joey says she now sees home as wherever She, Jack and the Triplets are, and as I sit here, surrounded by these little ones, who have become almost like cousins to me now, I really understand that. It's not the Sonnalpe, and it's not perfect as Poppa might not be able to be here, but I do have a home, and I think that will always be there, whether I am physically with them all or not.
So my last note, is to be thankful for my Chalet School family.
With love,
Cornelia Flower
P.S I'm sorry for an even messier letter, but I opened my envelope to add one more thing! Poppa has just arrived and is able to spend a whole week here ! He went a round about route, so he thinks it should be safe. Thank you Santa/Mademoiselle/God, whichever of you (or perhaps all of you) are aware of this letter. Merry Christmas and a thankful and happy New Year.
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Trained to instant obedience
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. What a lovely letter from Cornelia - thank you, Robin.
. It's nice to think that she and the children made a happy life for themselves in Canada.