I see the Temples and the Bettanys as coming from very different eras. Anne and Elizabeth are gracious, accomplished young women, who have been brought up to the kind of life where they'd be gracious entertainers, and keep a lovely home (managing the servants deftly), with a bit of artistic pursuit on the side. But there's no idea that they'd ever need to earn a living. When they're left nearly penniless, there's a brief mention that neither are suited to teaching, so they retire to live in ladylike poverty on Janie's pension, hoping to earn enough through their art to earn a living, and, as it turns out, waiting for wealthy young men to court them. There's no idea that when Janie's money runs out one of them might need to get a job with a salary, for rent and food, or that Janie should be trained to work, rather than practising piano.
Madge is a much more modern figure. She's got a high school education, and is active and sporty. Her reaction to their financial crisis is to figure out a practical way to earn a living and care for Joey ("maybe I can sell some paintings" is *not* a practical plan), and she picks a very independent approach. When she meets her handsome, wealthy, future husband, it's as a successful businesswoman in her own right.
As far as romance goes - that's a trend through the CS books as well. Handsome, eligible doctor (or artist) meets pretty mistress, looks admiringly at her, and a term later, after no more than a handful of encounters, they're engaged. It's a weird mix of modern (the women aren't chaperoned, are self-supporting and independent, and make up their own minds) and old fashioned (no dating). They miss both the old and new versions of getting to know someone before marrying them.
Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight. A sudden, intense feeling of attraction on first meeting, sure, but for every example that ends in a 50 year marriage, there are lots of intense first connections that fizzle out into nothing, or end badly with a deep regret for rushing into a commitment too quickly, or turn out to be a summer fling, or where the attractions isn't backed up by mutual compatibility, or where the feeling of connection turns out to be one sided.
Ring the bells that still can ring; Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything; That's how the light gets in
Anthem: Leonard Cohen