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 Post subject: Re: Worst written scenes in the CS?
PostPosted: 11 Sep 2019, 04:30 
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Getting all excited!!
Getting all excited!!

Joined: 30 Jan 2004, 00:07
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Location: Taiwan
I'm sympathetic towards writing baby talk because it's so hard to do well. EBD's main problem seemed to be targeting it to the right age. My friends' two year old is in the stage where she's talking like it's language (it sounds like complete sentences), but not all of it is actual words, and it's hard to understand the bits that are - that's hard to pull off in text. But by age four, a kid's in junior kindergarten and talking normally, albeit with some odd pronunciations occasionally.

Summer Term is definitely the most prosaically bonkers. I mean, the international gang plot line of Redheads is pretty off the wall, as is the kidnapping by Ruritarian royalty in Princess, but they're inherently wild storylines. You expect some improbability! The Maynards casually adopting one child who approaches them on the street claiming to be their ward, and another who they literally find on a train (who turns out to be the descendent of a noble scion and a beautiful but poor ballerina), is something else again.

In examples of other authors straining for plots we have the EJO book where Joan's mother's estranged sister's stepson's girlfriend's second cousin shows up at the Abbey to ask for help pursuing her acting career. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Worst written scenes in the CS?
PostPosted: 11 Sep 2019, 07:19 
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Rescuing a Junior from the lake
Rescuing a Junior from the lake
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Joined: 15 Oct 2004, 13:57
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Location: Manchester
I don't understand why EBD made it so complicated :lol: . We're told right at the start of the series that the Bettanys' aunts have large families ... who are never mentioned again. Why not say that one of the cousins had died suddenly and (perhaps because they were the same age and had been close as children) named Joey as her child's guardian, but that they'd lost touch over the years? It'd have been a lot more plausible.

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 Post subject: Re: Worst written scenes in the CS?
PostPosted: 12 Sep 2019, 10:31 
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Discovering that JMB lives next door
Discovering that JMB lives next door
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Joined: 01 Oct 2016, 05:46
Posts: 126
Location: Australia
Llywela wrote:
One of the worst written scenes for me is Erica randomly spotting Joey in the street, immediately recognising this woman she had never seen before, and running over to announce that she'd been left to Joey's care by a girl she was at school with very briefly many years earlier, wasn't particular friends with, and hadn't kept in touch with. :dontknow:


Not somebody Joey was at school with, but 'Dacia-Denise' met Jo in India - the story that never saw the light of day.

The girl who named her daughter after Jo and wanted her to be an unofficial god-daughter didn't even go to the same school - Maisie Goome was at St Scholastica's, not the Chalet School. How well would she have known Jo - except after Jo ended up in the lake after trying to rescue the skaters and was taken to the other school? And she was unconscious for most of that time.


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 Post subject: Re: Worst written scenes in the CS?
PostPosted: 12 Sep 2019, 11:17 
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Annoying a Sixth Former
Annoying a Sixth Former
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Joined: 23 Sep 2004, 21:57
Posts: 603
Location: UP NORTH
What surprises me about the scene where Erica spots Jo is that Jo is on her own in London - surely all the Chalet girls in the area would be escorting her? And how is she so familiar with the capital that she knows a place for tea and famous scones?


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 Post subject: Re: Worst written scenes in the CS?
PostPosted: 12 Sep 2019, 12:28 
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Rescuing a Junior from the lake
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Maybe she wanted a bit of peace and quiet for once, and had asked the hotel receptionist or someone at her publishers to recommend somewhere nice. She thought she'd just have a little bit of me time, away from kids, dogs, cats, budgies, the School, the San … and then some kid launched herself at her in the street and informed her that she was her new ward. Poor Joey :lol: .

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