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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 24 Jan 2017, 21:16 
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Saturday Ramble
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Thanks very much Cestina. Over reaction by me.

Edited to add - also Fiona


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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 25 Jan 2017, 04:13 
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Climbing with your knees bent
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My brother was eleven when I left home, and after that I was only home for Christmas and occasional weekends. But we still have a strong bond, and quickly revert back to comfortable interactions when we see each other. So lengthy absences aren't necessarily a barrier to a close sibling relationship.

Although I do wonder how things would go with siblings who hadn't spent much time together, ever. Stephen and Charles were at boarding school full time when the younger kids were born, and they didn't go to school with the girls. So for Cecil and Phil, they would only have interacted on holidays, and in the summer, at least, the younger ones were in the nursery much of the time. Would their relationship be more like, say, half-siblings who grew up in different homes and only had occasional vacations together, or even like a young uncle who visits occasionally, given the age difference.

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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 26 Jan 2017, 00:44 
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Saturday Ramble
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I wonder if there is a bond between family. When my daughter was a baby, from the first time she was in the company of my in-laws she treated them exactly the same as my parents whom she saw frequently. Was this because we were more relaxed in the company of our parents and she picked this up?


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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 26 Jan 2017, 04:27 
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End of term hi-jinks
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jennifer wrote:
Stephen and Charles were at boarding school full time when the younger kids were born, and they didn't go to school with the girls. So for Cecil and Phil, they would only have interacted on holidays, and in the summer, at least, the younger ones were in the nursery much of the time. Would their relationship be more like, say, half-siblings who grew up in different homes and only had occasional vacations together, or even like a young uncle who visits occasionally, given the age difference.


Doesn't Joey pretty much say that about David and his much younger twin brothers? That he will be more like an uncle to them?

I wonder what Steve, Charles etc thought when they got letters from home especially when Erica and Marie Claire were adopted: "What, ANOTHER one?" :D

Cheers,
Joyce

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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 26 Jan 2017, 13:11 
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Quote:
So lengthy absences aren't necessarily a barrier to a close sibling relationship.

Although I do wonder how things would go with siblings who hadn't spent much time together, ever. Stephen and Charles were at boarding school full time when the younger kids were born...

It wouldn't just be boarding school that would create a situation like that. In other families, girls might go out into service at fourteen when their younger siblings were toddlers, or not even born yet. They might rarely see their families again, except for short holidays.

Same for families like the Bettanys. Assuming Dick was eighteen when he went out to India, Jo would have been only six; she can't really have known him very well. School At was possibly only the second time he'd been home since then.

My mother is one of a big family with quite a big spread of ages between the eldest and youngest. The family was scattered in the war due to evacuation and war work, then a couple of the older ones got married. My mum didn't live under the same roof as some of them after she was ten or eleven. Which ones she's been closest to at any time changed over the course of all their lives, depending on all their circumstances.


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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 26 Jan 2017, 14:49 
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Good point, JayB. Back then it was much more likely for siblings of all classes to be separated for various reasons, and in large families which were more common then you would often get grown up children and babies in the same family.

I think we see the Maynards fighting to a reasonable extent - it would be very boring if all we ever read about were Maynard quarrels. I assume they have fights that we don't see. Plus, in an era that smiled upon physical discipline for boys (if not middle class girls) bad behaviour was probably more easily suppressed.

I also find Charles's 'look' fairly convincing. I've always taken it to be a look of contempt or disgust that would shake Margot up, rather than the sort of look that an authority figure would give. Coming from her younger brother probably actually made it more shocking.

Alison H wrote:
There's a lot of talk about "surface sophistication" (I never quite get that!) and Margot being "looser in our bunch", but I never really get the impression that Len and Con are closer to each other than either of them are to Margot. We don't, for example, see Len confiding in Con but not Margot about her issues with Reg. And the stay in Canada might have brought Margot closer to Ailie, and in particular to Josette who's a similar age, and maybe to Madge and Jem as well, but it doesn't. It's a missed opportunity in some ways, because being away from the others for over a year should surely have had a much bigger effect than it does. Maybe it was strange when the others arrived in Canada and they all met up again, but we don't see that.

I feel as if the relationship changes more when they get back, and Margot immediately pals up with Emerence. EBD isn't usually keen on exclusive best friendships and prefers girls to be part of a gang, or at least a group of three or four, but Margot and Emerence are very much BFFs.

I do see Margot as less close to Len and Con that they are to each other, althought that might be mainly because they're often in the same form while Margot is in another one with Emerence. In the later books it's less noticeable, but Len and Con are moe thoughtful and it's not really surprising that they are closer, especially considering they were separated for a while at a young age.


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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 30 Jan 2017, 01:11 
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Climbing with your knees bent
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I do see Margot as being less connected to the family than Len and Con, with the year separation possibly being part of it. As an additional factor, Len and Con are also always in the same form, except for the one term in Changes, while Margot is in a different form about half the time, so she isn't able to spend nearly as much time with them as they spend with each other.

She's the quickest to form a close friendship outside of the family. She's the most likely to rebel against the family line - she pushes back against calling Joey Mama, and drops the evening confession ritual before the other two, for example. She's definitely the black sheep in terms of behaviour, morals, and school performance. And while Len and Con are very open about their plans after leaving school, and discuss it with the family, Margot keeps her plans and the process of deciding what to do very close to her chest until quite late. She's also the one who choses a career path that will result in a much greater separation from the family than the others.

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There is a crack in everything; That's how the light gets in
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 Post subject: Re: Maynard kids ever fight?
PostPosted: 31 Jan 2017, 23:44 
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Playing Impertinent Questions
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jennifer wrote:
Although I do wonder how things would go with siblings who hadn't spent much time together, ever. Stephen and Charles were at boarding school full time when the younger kids were born, and they didn't go to school with the girls. So for Cecil and Phil, they would only have interacted on holidays, and in the summer, at least, the younger ones were in the nursery much of the time. Would their relationship be more like, say, half-siblings who grew up in different homes and only had occasional vacations together, or even like a young uncle who visits occasionally, given the age difference.


Not at all - my sister was born when my brother and I had been at our respective boarding-schools for two years, and we absolutely adored her. She got on - and still does - particularly well with my brother, who is nine years older than she is; in fact, I don't think they squabble and tease each other nearly as much as I do with either or both of them.... but we get on very well underneath the teasing!


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