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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 03 Jun 2018, 18:06 
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Donating it to the Childrens' Ward
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Joined: 19 Sep 2011, 22:32
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MaryR wrote:
Audrey25 wrote:
ivohenry wrote:
It was - maybe still is? - standard practice that the non-Catholic parent had to promise that the children would be brought up Catholics

I was a non Catholic who married a Catholic in October 1983. I was allowed by the Catholic Church to be married in my own Church after producing the certificate to say I had been christened. My husband-to-be had to attend his own Church every week and we got special permission from the local RC bishop. However, I had to actually sign a document to say I would bring up any children of the marriage as RCs.


I find that amazing, Audrey! We got married 10 years before you in 1973. Okay, we got married in my Catholic parish church, but SLOC, a non-Catholic, never had to attend his own church every week - he wasn't a church-goer! Nor did I need the permission of my bishop to marry him, and SLOC certainly didn't have to sign anything to agree to bring up our children as Catholics. He just had to agree verbally to my parish priest. My sister married there in 1979 and they had the same treatment as us.

I wonder if yours was different because you married in a non-Catholic church, Audrey?


It could have been, Mary.In fact, you are almost certainly right.

I remember the importance laid on the fact that I had been baptised in the Church of Scotland and having to show my birth certificate which I think had a bit written on the rear, at the time I had been christened, by the minister to confirm the christening with the date.

I don't think Phil would have got away with marrying in the C of S if I had not been christened.

The bishop we had to get permission from was based 100 miles away but, I think, he is still active in the RC Church in Scotland albeit in a different (promoted) position.

The signing I remember well. We went to a hotel to do it over a drink or something!!!! I did sign at the time in all good faith.


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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 04 Jun 2018, 21:29 
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If you, a Catholic, wanted to marry in a church other than a Catholic church, you had to show good reason for doing so and part of that was that the non-Catholic was a practising member of the Church concerned. Proof, in the form of a statement from the vicar or minister was (or should have been) required.
By the early 1980s, it wasn't uncommon for the Catholic priest concerned to be invited to attend the wedding by the officiating clergy, and to give a blessing.


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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 05 Jun 2018, 00:16 
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Victoria wrote:
If you, a Catholic, wanted to marry in a church other than a Catholic church, you had to show good reason for doing so and part of that was that the non-Catholic was a practising member of the Church concerned. Proof, in the form of a statement from the vicar or minister was (or should have been) required.
By the early 1980s, it wasn't uncommon for the Catholic priest concerned to be invited to attend the wedding by the officiating clergy, and to give a blessing.


We asked the RC priest to give a blessing at the wedding (October 1983) but we were refused. Told this was not done or something.


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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 05 Jun 2018, 16:52 
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Goodness me! I'm hoping my Church has moved on since those days, Audrey! I'm ashamed your new husband and you were deprived in that way. I suppose it is unusual not to marry in RC church if one partner is Catholic, but it still seems wrong to me that no priest was allowed to give the blessing.

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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 06 Jun 2018, 02:14 
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Donating it to the Childrens' Ward
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MaryR wrote:
Goodness me! I'm hoping my Church has moved on since those days, Audrey! I'm ashamed your new husband and you were deprived in that way. I suppose it is unusual not to marry in RC church if one partner is Catholic, but it still seems wrong to me that no priest was allowed to give the blessing.


I think they have maybe all moved on, Mary. My Church was by no means perfect either.


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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 06 Jun 2018, 07:36 
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The new series of Who Do You Think You Are starts with Michelle Keegan talking about how her grandparents, one Catholic and one Protestant, were given horrendous hassle when they wanted to get married, and ended up eloping. This was in Gibraltar, and I think her grandma was actually from Spain, and I assume the Catholic church in Franco's Spain would have taken a far more hardline attitude than in the UK, but it'll give some idea of attitudes.

It still upsets me to think of the hassle that my grandparents got when they decided to get married, at around the same time as Joey and Jack, even though I know that attitudes were different then.

There aren't that many mixed marriages in the CS books. Jo and Jack's is the only one where different religions are specifically mentioned - the subject isn't raised with Len and Reg. There are marriages between people from different Anglophone countries, but few people marry someone from a really different culture. Evvy's mum's Austrian but is hardly mentioned, and Biddy marries Eugen Courvoisier, but there aren't a lot.

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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 16 Jun 2018, 14:25 
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My cousin married in 1960, and I was her bridesmaid (yes, I know, that makes me very old!). She was Protestant and her husband a Catholic - it may have been vice versa though, as she may have converted for a previous relationship that didn't work out ("Can't she just change back now he's gone?" to quote Lawrie Marlow). Anyway, I do know the wedding had to be very plain and no-frills, although I barely remember it (only photos seen at their Golden Wedding celebrations some years ago now, and my elder grandson was in the throes of being born, so it was very, very difficult to concentrate on ANYTHING. I told her not to have the baby that day, but did she listen?).


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 Post subject: Re: Jo's relationship with Jack's family
PostPosted: 02 Jul 2018, 20:05 
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I have a Northern Irish Protestant friend whose husband is Catholic. They got married in a Methodist church. Some of his family refused to attend because he was marrying out.


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