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 Post subject: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 14:38 
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I believe Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have asked for charity donations rather than wedding presents. Many of the recent weddings I have attended have stated "your presence rather than a present is requested as we have already set up our home" then with a qualifier that if you do want to give .......... donations to honeymoon, Italian cookery course, bungee jump, etc. etc.

We have glimpses of wedding presents in the CS - don't have the books to hand - but Joey receives a silver tea set from the Stuffer and Maria; Grizel gives a kitchen to Verity, Madge has a photo of the whole school - there must be others.

SLOC and I have recently found a list of wedding presents received by his grandparents who married in the early 1900s - they weren't as grand as Jem and Madge - farming people and their list reflects that they were setting up home. The biggest gift is from the groom's parents - bedstead and bed complete. The bride's parents gave a feather bed and wedding dress. There were plenty of plain sheets and pillow cases but Auntie Joyce gave a pair of fancy pillow cases! Did Jem or Jack need a moustache cup and saucer or a tobacco jar, I wonder? Most presents were of the useful kind but there was also a picture of Gloucester and two bottles of wine.

The whole list gives a snapshot of a very different way of life and is an interesting reflection on changing times and habits.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 14:58 
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I wonder what everyone bought Elisaveta and Raphael. And what they thought of Joey being chief bridesmaid :lol: .

I believe my mum and dad got umpteen toasters and kettles, in the days when most couples didn't set up home together before marriage but before the days of wedding present lists at big shops - people just bought what they thought would be useful, but everyone had the same idea.

Marie and Andreas also got the photo of the whole school. Marie was apparently delighted with it - yeah, right, I bet she was! Other than that, the idea at their wedding seemed to be to give money. It's a good idea, because then people can buy what they want/need, rather than having to dig out some hideous vase when Great Auntie Maud, who bought it, came to visit, but a lot of people do feel awkward and embarrassed about giving money.

Didn't Janie and Julian Lucy get a whole posh dinner service anonymously? And then it turned out to be from some woman whom they barely knew! And Barbara Chester starts a collection to buy a collection for Peggy Bettany's wedding present, which is very kind of her but did they do that every time an Old Girl got married?! We see Gillian Linton and Mary Burnett being given wedding presents, but you'd expect that for a long-serving teacher, just not for a former pupil.

I'm trying to think if there's any mention of "bottom drawers". Or were the CS girls too grand for that? But people like Bride and Juliet spoke about saving up before they could get married.

In one of the La Rochelle books, Rosamund Atherton and Nigel Willoughby (I think it's them, anyway) get a security guard to look after their wedding presents! We're then informed that their family and friends really weren't that posh and the presents really weren't that fancy!!

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 15:24 
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Not really wedding presents, but Jo and Robin give Madge tin spoons and a pudding basin as birthday presents just before her wedding. Madge laughs heartily - but Jo is 14 at the time!


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 16:16 
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Given that Joey saved E!isaveta's life I should that imagine that her role as Chief Bridesmaid was regarded as eminently suitable.

The thought of either Jem or Jack with a moustache makes me cringe!

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 16:27 
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When I left school, I worked in an office for a couple of years. Whenever anyone got married, we had a wedding shower. A secret list of items was sent round and we all bought basic kitchen equipment ie bread board, measuring jug, wooden spoons etc. Then after work, we would get together and present her with the items. In the late sixties, girls tended to live at home or flat share with other girls so our gifts must have helped with stocking her kitchen.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 16:34 
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cestina wrote:
Given that Joey saved E!isaveta's life I should that imagine that her role as Chief Bridesmaid was regarded as eminently suitable.



Presumably Joey's Belsornian pearls which get mentioned later were her present for being a bridesmaid. Not sure if we actually get told that's why she was given them?


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 21:19 
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I'd assume so: it sounds like a bridesmaid present, and suitably grand for a royal wedding :D . I'm trying to think how many times Jo was a bridesmaid. Five, I think - for Madge, Juliet, Marie, Bernhilda and Elisaveta.

I'd forgotten that bit about Joey and Robin giving Madge kitchen items for her birthday. The Tyrol books are so good for little incidents like that :D .

I'm not sure if it was a wedding present or not, but Madge has a very expensive and delicate tablecloth which Wanda sent her from Vienna, and she gets quite stressed when Joey uses it, without permission, for a tableau in Exploits. There's also a Russell family veil: I don't think Madge can have worn it, because Margot must have had it, but Daisy wears it, and says something about needing to be careful with it so that Primula and the Russell girls can wear it in the future.

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 17 May 2018, 23:06 
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Was Robin a bridesmaid too? She gets pearls from Belsornia as she donates them with two other pieces of jewellery (forget what these are) to the triplets when she enters her convent.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 07:44 
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Probably. I think Robin must hold the record for being a bridesmaid the most number of times in CS books :lol: .

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 20:13 
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The pearls are a gift from the king and Prince Carol for rescuing Elisaveta from Cosimo, presumably Robin got her set at the same time.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 20:16 
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Jo’s pearls given in Princess by King after ceremony...jo is wearing them at end of book.
Hilda is crocheting napkins for Daisy in Bride as part of her wedding present?


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 20:51 
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I think there are quite a lot of references dotted about, even though we get to see few actual weddings.

In Summer Term, Erica makes table mats for her former governess Miss Waller who has just married, though if they are a wedding present, they're a slightly belated one.

There's also mention in Rescue of the problem Phoebe Wychcote has with fulfilling a wedding present order (tablecloth and napkins, I seem to remember) when her rheumatism flares up unexpectedly.

And not quite the same, but in Reunion, Cornelia describes Yseult as 'filling her hope chest' in preparation for her marriage.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 21:52 
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Noreen wrote:
And not quite the same, but in Reunion, Cornelia describes Yseult as 'filling her hope chest' in preparation for her marriage.


Ah - I knew there had to be a bottom drawer reference somewhere :lol: . I assume "hope chest" is the American equivalent :D . I'm not actually sure which term is worse!

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 18 May 2018, 22:19 
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:lol: I know! I can't help thinking that EMBD would've preferred 'hope chest' as being a little less prosaic.

Randomly Googling, the Amish Outlet Store weblog takes aaaages to explain it all, and adds something that I found really unattractive: "... you can easily modernize your hope chest by filling it with meaningful modern items such as DVDs or a favorite playlist". No - we either go the practical/ useful route or we don't bother - and anyway, how much room do they think a playlist takes up, even if you have one for every occasion?


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 19 May 2018, 11:40 
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Alison H wrote:
And Barbara Chester starts a collection to buy a collection for Peggy Bettany's wedding present, which is very kind of her but did they do that every time an Old Girl got married?!


I wondered that too especially as there are so many OG to raise money for. It does seem a bit unfair that Peggy is singled out for a gift when no other OG seems to have anything sent to them.

And she doesn't even send them any cake unlike Sybil who sends Ailie back to the CS with a top of her cake for everyone to have a taste.

Noreen wrote:
There's also mention in Rescue of the problem Phoebe Wychcote has with fulfilling a wedding present order (tablecloth and napkins, I seem to remember) when her rheumatism flares up unexpectedly.


Much as I like Phoebe, I am on the wedding guests's side and Joey's indignation is totally out of place.

Think about it - the guest makes an order, doesn't receive the gift in time, receives no word whatsoever regarding the delay or providing a proper explanation leaving her presumably with no gift for the wedding or a rush around for a last minute replacement gift.

Then, weeks later, she receives the things, again with no apology or explanation. To be blunt, I would have acted in much the same way and refused to pay.

Maybe if she had known Phoebe's circumstances she should have stayed in touch with her to make sure she was feeling well and able to sew. But she was owed some kind of explanation.

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 19 May 2018, 20:15 
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The Queen's outfit was rather lime green-ish :D . Meghan's mum wore green, as well.

I do wish we'd got a description of Elisaveta's wedding, but I suppose EBD couldn't really have written about all the crowned heads of Europe attending a wedding in a book :lol: . I bet Wanda and Marie's society weddings were very "swish", as Joey puts it, as well. Len and Reg's wedding was probably a bit like Prince Harry and Meghan's - hordes of relatives on Len's side, and hardly anyone on Reg's.

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 27 May 2018, 04:19 
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Does anybody else remember the little bags of wedding cake that used to be given to guests at weddings? This was possibly in place of the slice of wedding cake now given with tea/coffee at the end of the meal.

Tiny boxes of cake also used to be sent to invited guests who did not attend the wedding or people not at the wedding who gave presents.

The son of one of my older friends was married in the 1980s and her husband gave the bride a present as this was apparently a tradition. Anyone else hear of this? Prince Charles apparently gave Kate a diamond bracelet when she married William but the royals are inclined to do this to close relatives anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 27 May 2018, 05:06 
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Mentions of the bags of wedding cake in literature initially confused me. Eventually I realized that they were talking about wedding cake based on a sturdy fruit-cake base, rather than the sort of fluffy cake with fluffy icing I was picturing.

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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 27 May 2018, 08:11 
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It's a long time since I saw or received a little box with a piece of wedding cake in it - I had almost forgotten that tradition. I wonder if anyone still keeps the top tier of their wedding cake (has to be fruit cake) for the christening party of their first child? The original icing would be scraped off and the cake re-iced.

In France, the wedding guests receive little bags of sugared almonds.


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 Post subject: Re: Wedding Presents - Royal, CS and Others
PostPosted: 27 May 2018, 09:24 
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jennifer wrote:
Mentions of the bags of wedding cake in literature initially confused me. Eventually I realized that they were talking about wedding cake based on a sturdy fruit-cake base, rather than the sort of fluffy cake with fluffy icing I was picturing.
Yes, UK wedding cakes are 'traditionally' based on that firm fruit cake - that is, the tradition is a 19th century one, but then the Victorians fossilised the white wedding! Before that there seems to have been bride's cake (sponge or at least a lighter mix, sometimes as little cakes) and groom's cake the heavier kind that's now standard. I think that's a tradition worth reviving, and had both sorts at my own wedding, especially as not everyone likes fruit cake.

But then 'fruit cake' is a misleading term to some extent (dried fruit would have been the only fruit a lot of people got when these things were first thought of): I was in a local bakers, which is mainly Asian staffed, and a customer asked if they could make him a fruit cake for a celebration. He was very taken aback when they understandably said "Like this one?" and indicated a sponge cake decoratively topped with tinned fruit...

lizco wrote:
...I wonder if anyone still keeps the top tier of their wedding cake (has to be fruit cake) for the christening party of their first child? The original icing would be scraped off and the cake re-iced.
I doubt it, though I did once get a letter at the museum asking for "concrete advice" on having this done, which I felt was an unfortunate (but prophetic?) choice of wording... :D


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