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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2015, 19:29 
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Somehow making an enemy
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'Do you know what could be wrong with me, Madge?' Jo asked despairingly. 'I just seem to be busy all the time.'


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2015, 22:04 
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Finn wrote:
(For those who don't understand, please google "get in the sea" and all shall become clear!)


Strangely amusing :)


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2015, 22:57 
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Dawn09 wrote:
'Do you know what could be wrong with me, Madge?' Jo asked despairingly. 'I just seem to be busy all the time.'

"Oh, for God's sake, Joey! Why on earth didn't you get Jack to use condoms? I did and that's why my family is more evenly spaced. And I got Jem to get the snip after the twins?"

"What are condoms and the snip?" asked Joey plaintively.


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2015, 23:28 
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Dawn09 wrote:
'Do you know what could be wrong with me, Madge?' Jo asked despairingly. 'I just seem to be busy all the time.'


"Time management" said Madge "That's the problem. You aren't setting your priorities and creating an environment conducive to carrying them out. Here, I've got a self-help book about it."


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 10 Oct 2015, 02:51 
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Joey came away from the long-overdue 'talk' with Madge slightly bugged eyed and needing a martini and quiet repose in a darkened room.

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 10 Oct 2015, 03:34 
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[quote]And seeing as all her sanity had been absorbed by the napkins, Matey then dragged the axe out of her wardrobe...

(sorry, couldn't resist!)[/quote]

oh dear. My bad.

But I love the image of Matey trying to explain what 'sanity napkins' are to generations of CS girls.

cheers,
Joyce

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 10 Oct 2015, 08:10 
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honey lamb wrote:
"What are condoms and the snip?" asked Joey plaintively.


Madge groaned. It was Jem's fault. She'd tried to persuade him to have a little chat with Jack, like the little chat he'd had with Dick after Mollie had produced 6 children in 7 years, but he'd said that a doctor ought to know all that sort of thing already.

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 10 Oct 2015, 09:44 
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Alison H wrote:
honey lamb wrote:
"What are condoms and the snip?" asked Joey plaintively.


Madge groaned. It was Jem's fault. She'd tried to persuade him to have a little chat with Jack, like the little chat he'd had with Dick after Mollie had produced 6 children in 7 years, but he'd said that a doctor ought to know all that sort of thing already.


Madge groaned again.
'When you had that lesson with the cucumbers and bananas, you didn't really think it was about fruit and vegetables, did you?'

(For anyone who has ever had to teach PSHE with such items!) :D


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2015, 14:21 
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Dawn09 wrote:

(For anyone who has ever had to teach PSHE with such items!) :D


The last time I had to teach that we had 'demonstrators' which were thick, dark blue silicon, with realistic veins...

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2015, 14:24 
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Dawn09 wrote:
(For anyone who has ever had to teach PSHE with such items!) :D


Reading that bit quoted in Elle's post, for a moment, I thought that you were talking about the pupils! :D

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Everyone's mad but thee and me, and thee's a little mad...

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2015, 14:25 
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Just realised I deleted more of the quote than I meant to!

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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 15 Oct 2015, 17:20 
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The staff had long since acknowledged that the language rule was almost impracticable and resulted in quite half the girls never managing to learn anything at all. However, it was such a nice little earner for the gin fund, they knew Hilda would never hear of scrapping it.

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"In the absence of knowledge, it is easier to judge than to understand."
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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2015, 09:23 
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Dear Mrs Trelawny,

I regret to inform you that Mary Lou did not pass the Entrance Exam so we are unable to offer her a place at the Chalet School..........


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2015, 10:09 
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Hilda was astounded to receive a letter from the local authorities in the Platz area informing her that they would be levying a fine on the school for the amount of water it wasted.


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2015, 16:25 
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Karen's sudden illness caused a crisis as no-one knew how to turn down Joey's offer to prepare sandwiches for the School.

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Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2015, 18:22 
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Jenefer wrote:
Dear Mrs Trelawny,

I regret to inform you that Mary Lou did not pass the Entrance Exam so we are unable to offer her a place at the Chalet School..........


Cheers loudly! (Apologies to her fans. :) )

'We really must do something to bring Mary Lou out of herself,' commented Miss Annersley to her assembled staff. 'She's such a little mouse - one of the quietest girls the Chalet School has ever known.'


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2015, 09:16 
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Dawn09 wrote:
'We really must do something to bring Mary Lou out of herself,' commented Miss Annersley to her assembled staff. 'She's such a little mouse - one of the quietest girls the Chalet School has ever known.'


I'm now wondering what would happen if OOAO was sent to Mallory Towers and MT's Mary-Lou came to the Chalet School...

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"In the absence of knowledge, it is easier to judge than to understand."
James Axtell, 'Moral Reflections on Columbus'


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2015, 18:57 
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Rietta wrote:
I'm now wondering what would happen if OOAO was sent to Mallory Towers and MT's Mary-Lou came to the Chalet School...


I think OOAO would have got on the wrong side of Alicia, for starters! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2015, 20:41 
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Quote:
"Ah, thank you," he replied. "My name's Russell - James Russell,"


"I'm sure he's nicked that line from somewhere," Grizel murmured sotto voce to Juliet.

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 Post subject: Re: Lines Unlikely to Be Seen in a Chalet School Novel IX
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2015, 12:26 
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Declaring it to have been the best term
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"You may begin," said the new History mistress to Inter V.

Just as Inter V picked up their pens to begin writing their controlled assessment the door burst open and Matron appeared.

"Ah, Miss Svelnyte, I'm afraid Len Maynard must come with me. Her dressing table is a mess and she must tidy it at once."

Len reluctantly rose to her feet.

"I'm sorry Matron," said Miss Svelnyte firmly, "But Len has just begun her controlled assessment, which makes up 25% of her final grade. She needs to stay here."

Len froze, and the class stopped writing and looked up in horror. Clearly the new History mistress had not been appraised about Matron.

Matron glared at the new mistress, "Len will come now and tidy her dressing table," she said firmly. Lesser people had wilted under Matron's firm tones and evil glare.

The new History mistress however, was made of sterner stuff. "No," she replied, matching glare for glare, "I have been asked to ensure that results improve. To make sure this happens all students will be completing their controlled assessment in my room now. Len will tidy her dressing table during her break. I am sure you agree that it is a more suitable punishment for her to lose her break, rather than fail her History exam."

Matron was flabbergasted. As were Inter V.

"You may leave," said the new History mistress, "Oh, and Matron?"

Matron turned a pale face to the new mistress.

"Please don't ever disturb my lessons unless it is a genuine medical emergency, and castor oil doesn't count as medical emergency."

To the amazement of the girls, Matron turned at left. She was never seen again.

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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.


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